Chapter One

It was one of those mornings. Katherine had stumbled out of bed after a restless night, having already slept through her blaring alarm. She was running late, and worst of all, it had to be today that the twins were starting their first day of primary school.

She moved quickly down the passage to the boys’ bedrooms – at six, they still shared the same room, although their beds had been moved to opposite ends of the room. She was worried about their first day. She knew that it was difficult for most kids to part from their parents and sum up the courage to join the throng of others that were also experiencing the trauma of being coaxed (or pried, in some cases) from the safety of their parent’s arms.

She quietly entered the room and gazed down at Nathan’s sleeping profile. He was curled in a tight ball, his right hand lightly fisted and tucked beneath his chin. His dark hair was tousled from sleep and his cheeks a rosy red from the warmth of his bed. She glanced across the room at Jake, whose form was sprawled across his bed, his right arm flung over his eyes as if blocking out a bright light and his blankets in a tangled heap at the foot of his bed. Even now, it was sometimes hard for her to believe that these bright, energetic boys had once shared her body with her and each other, that she had once carried them with her every day.

Suddenly remembering the time, she laid a gentle hand on Nathan’s shoulder, waking him immediately. His large storm-grey eyes focused on her and a moment later, he started to grin.

‘It’s our first day of school, isn’t it?’ he asked, already knowing the answer.

Katherine smiled and nodded. ‘That’s right, big boy, today is a big day for you and Jake. So get up, and I’m going to go downstairs and start fixing breakfast. Do you need help picking out some clothes?’

He shook his head. ‘I can do it.’

Katherine rose from the edge of Nathan’s bed to wake Jake, but was surprised to see he was already awake. Jake slept deeply and intensely, as he did most things. Usually, she needed to shake him awake.

‘Hey buddy. Time to get up, it’s your first day of school.’

Jake merely grunted and slid out of bed slowly, rubbing his eyes with his fists, a gesture that had stayed with him ever since he was a baby. He fixed his eyes on Nathan and gave him a half-hearted smile. Nathan returned the smile and Katherine immediately sensed that the boys were talking to each other in the silence. She never understood why, but when they communicated this way it always left her with an uneasy feeling. Catching the reprimand that she could feel rising to her lips, she smiled at both of them and turned towards the door.

‘Breakfast in ten minutes boys. Get dressed and wash your faces.’

She turned and went out the door, closing it behind her. She made her way down the hall to the stairs, then stopped and listened carefully. The unmistakeable sound of cutlery clashing together and plates being taken out of the cupboard rose from the kitchen. She ran lightly down the stairs and found Kevin standing at the stove, an egg lifter in one hand and a mug in the other. He was dressed in perfectly ironed chinos and a deep blue shirt that brought out his dark colouring. At 33, he was as gorgeous as ever, just as good looking as he was when they met.

He turned at the sound of her footsteps and smiled. ‘Morning.’ He slipped an arm around her waist and drew her to him for a kiss. ‘Thought I’d help you out this morning, what with the boys starting school today.’

She glanced at the pan in front of him and frowned slightly at its contents. ‘Honey, you know that this isn’t the most nutritious breakfast, right?’

He grinned at her. ‘I know, but hopefully it will help ease the pain for them, and for you.’ He picked up the pan and expertly tossed the offending pancake in the air, catching it perfectly. He gave her a look of pained contrition, the look he always gave her when she pretended to be annoyed at him. It made him look as young as their sons and her heart gave a stutter in her chest. She smiled and swatted him playfully, shaking her head. ‘That look is going to be the end of me one day.’

He grabbed her and pulled her firmly to his chest. ‘That’s what I’m hoping for.’

She laughed. Just then, the twins appeared in the doorway, both dressed and freshly scrubbed, their eyes bright with excitement.

‘Just in time,’ she said cheerfully, pulling out a chair for each of them.

‘Pancakes!’ they both crowed, peering gleefully at their places at the table as Kevin placed two golden brown pancakes on their plates. He grinned at Katherine and she rolled her eyes, knowing exactly what he was thinking.

‘Well, my work is done here, I’ve gotta go.’ He reached for his briefcase and his keys, then moved towards the boys and placed a gentle kiss on each of their cheeks. He reached for Katherine and gave her a lingering kiss on her soft mouth, making both boys wrinkle their noses and simultaneously yell out. ‘Gross, Dad!’

Kevin laughed and walked out the door, winking at the boys as he did. ‘See you kids later, have a good first day!’

Half an hour later Katherine had managed to get the boys into the car. She carefully backed out of the driveway and turned east, slipping her sunglasses on to shade her eyes from the brightness of the sun. Fortunately the school was around the corner; one of the many perks of living in a small town. The boys had insisted that they could walk home alone after school and Katherine had successfully squashed the urge to be overprotective and insist on picking them up. It was a safe town, it always had been. She and Kevin had moved to Willow Acres when they decided it was time to start a family. After doing extensive research on the Internet about all the surrounding towns of their current home, the found that Willow Acres came up with the cleanest record – very few murders had been committed and records of rape or any other violent crimes were also very low. It was a close knit community, one that still believed in the idea of knowing their neighbours.

‘Mommy, there it is!’ Katherine’s thoughts broke at the sound of Nathan’s voice and she realised that she had very nearly driven right past the school. She smiled at his enthusiasm and turned to look at the two of them in the backseat. Jake was also looking excited, although a lot less so than Nathan.

Maybe this won’t be so hard, she thought. She unsnapped her seatbelt and climbed from the car. The children scrambled out, their wide eyes fixed on the chaotic scene that was taking place just outside the school building. There were children everywhere, all of whom were in various states of hysterics. Katherine knelt so that she was eye to eye with her sons. She passed a hand over each of their heads, relishing the softness of their dark hair that was so much like their father’s.

‘Right, are you guys all set?’ She adjusted the straps of their backpacks, fiddling nervously in an attempt to keep them with her a little while longer. Jake fidgeted and sighed impatiently. ‘Let’s go Nate,’ he said, pulling on Nathan’s hand. Nathan hung back, resisting Jake for a moment. He put his small hand against Katherine’s cheek, mimicking the gesture she used on him whenever he was upset or anxious.

‘Bye Mom,’ he said quietly. He then turned and without looking back, followed his brother into the brick building.

Nathan looked down at his hands, fascinated by the gooey gunk between his fingers. The play dough was a deep blue colour, a colour that reminded him of the sky on a hot summer day. He had been trying to make a snowman out of the clay, but the head kept falling off the body and finally, with a snort of frustration, he had taken to simply smooshing the clay until his hands were covered with it. Bored, he glances up and instinctively looks for his brother. Jake is right next to him, drawing a picture with a black crayon. Nathan squints, trying to make out what Jake is attempting to draw. Unconsciously he slides a little nearer to get a better look and Jake snaps his head up, almost knocking heads with Nathan from the suddenness of the movement. Nathan rears back to avoid the collision and looks his brother straight in the eyes. What he sees there is scary, like looking into the angry eyes of a rapid dog that has come too close, close enough to bite. Jake’s eyes narrow, as if he is able to read this thought of Nathan’s as clearly as if Nathan had actually said it. Jake raises his hand and forcefully pushes Nathan out of his chair, so that he lands hard on his rear. Several children around them have witnessed this scene and a soft titter breaks out. Nathan stares at Jake from his position on the floor, barely able to believe that Jake had pushed him that way. Jake looks unconcerned and continues drawing as if nothing had happened.